Journal Nine

I remember actually seeing Finny's vision of peace but of course it wouldn't be my last." for hours, and sometimes for days, i fell without realizing it into private explanation of the world". What had deceived me was " my own happiness; for peace was indivisible. Ill never understand why we have wars or how they end. I didn't have any real sense of anything that was happening and that had happened. No real war could make Lepellier leave. I knew things were getting serious but i just couldn't understand. Its like my head became a blur. After we came back from Christmas break a recruiter from the United States ski team should us a presentation. Lepellier said we were " seeking a recognizable and friendly face to the war. Leper was still amazed at the movie even when it was over and the lights came on.

Journal Eight

"I can see i never should have left you alone", Phineas had told me. I  didn't understand why he was there. He asked me where i got my clothes. I dont remember if it was meant as an insult or not. Knowing him he was laughing within his head about it. I pulled off my sweater and underneath i was wearing a rain slicker, which i used to wear when i went sailing years before. Phineas just stood there and studied it. I wasn't sure if it was a good stare or bad. He actually told me he liked the cut of it. I was so surprised i lost my breathe. I pulled that off too and underneath i wore an army shirt. He looked at it and finally replied and said "very typical". He smiled at it for a while while he worked hard to get out of the chair. He told me i should have just wore the army shirt all day, i am not surprised he said that though. It felt weird to see him on crutches. I mean i saw him on them last year when he broke his ankle playing football but i never thought id see them again. He was very good at using them though being careful with every move he made. "In spite of everything, i had welcomed each new day as though it was a new life". I till this day try to do that.

Journal Seven

I remember Brinker Hadley come over to see me in late afternoon. I had already taken a shower to wash off the salt from the Naguamsett River."Going into Devon was like a refreshing shower itself".I remembered after i washed everything off my body i put a pair of chocolate brown slacks, a pair which Phineas never really liked. He used to criticized me when i wore them.When Brinker came in i noticed his gray suit, and his neck tie. He was very tall but he carried it very well. He had an athlete body but he wasn't one. He was more into politics. He was a very intelligent young man. He talked to me about how i had a big room all to myself and he didn't understand how i kept it so neat and clean. He asked me if the reason i picked Finny as a roommate was because i knew he wasn't coming back. I remembered my jaw dropped in awe. I wasn't expecting to hear these words coming out of Brinker's mouth. I was very confused. I remembered the words "Don't be nutty,Brinker" come out of my mouth. "Rest assured of that, my son, In our free democracy, even fighting for its life, the truth will come out". I will never forget those words and the serious look upon his face while he was speaking. His serious tone of voice and his arm resting on my shoulder still makes me shiver to this day when i think about it.

Journal Six

There was finally peace at Devon. Most things stayed the same in the summer with the calm air. fall didn't really touch the leaves on the trees yet. There was a few kids getting an education they didn't really want. The masters were in their places for once. Wives and children sat patiently in the church. Five of the younger teachers were missing, they had gone into the war. I remember Mr.Pike entering with his navy uniform. I remember his hopeless and mild face. he seemed almost lifeless. At Devon the traditions had been ruined or changed and the standards let down and of course the rules forgotten. "We thought of ourselves, of what Devon owed us, and what we had taken all of that and much more". I remembered my years at Devon all the moments. Some were good and of course some were bad. But like everything it still came to an end. I saw the last rays of sunlight on the tree where he fell. I replay that moment over and over again. They were trying to reinforce, of course i wasn't paying attention like i should have. "If you broke the rules, then they broke you" those words still remain locked in my head.

Journal Five

I remember we weren't allowed to be around the infirmary during the next few days. Although we weren't allowed near there i still heard rumors about what happened. "Eventually a fact emerged;it was one of his legs, which had been "shattered". I didn't know how to react to the situation it was like i was almost numb. I was right behind him when it happened i mean i was his room mate. His injury on the most part seemed deeper than anything that had happened during my years there. No one was even suspicious of me, no one even asked. Its like they already knew. I would have tried to defend myself but no one even accused me. I tried to spend as much time alone in our room as i could. It just wasn't the same without him there with me. "I put on his cordovan shoes, his pants, and i looked for and finally found his pick shirt". I didn't even know what i was doing, i was lost in my own mind. I didn't  know why? Was it guilt? or something else? I just dont know. I want him to heal i felt so lost without him. I just needed my friend back and i couldn't wait till he could walk again.